The Word instructs that he who finds a wife
finds a good thing (Prov. 18:22). It doesn’t say that every woman
qualifies as a good wife. These are two completely different things. A
man should be looking for a helpmate.
Because women have a
tendency to be a little more complicated than men, my list of women men
should never marry is just a little longer than the list I'd create of
men women should never marry. Here are 13 women men should avoid:
1. Blinded Brenda. For
this woman, the motto is "It's all about me." If you, as a man,
consider yourself to be a catch, this most likely means you have a
vision of where you see yourself in the next 10 years. Make sure your
woman has the same vision. Many a man wastes his gifts on what he was
created to be, only to waste his life fulfilling the vision a woman has
for him. Know what you were created for, and find a helpmate who will
help you get there.
2. Dominating Donna. This is a woman
who doesn’t acknowledge the order God has established. She wants to
redefine the Bible, as she believes it is outdated for this generation.
She won’t be happy just wearing the pants. She won’t stop until she has
you wearing the skirt. Don’t just walk away from this woman—run.
3. Holy Holly. This
woman can be exhausting. She quotes the Bible in everything she does.
She is the "only one" who hears from God correctly. She has no real joy
in living. No sense of humor. If she laughed, her face would crack. Her
comfort and joy come from the law of the Lord.
4. Trophy Tina. This
is the woman most men are drawn to. She has all the right curves in all
the right places. But just like the signs on a winding road, beware of
dangerous curves ahead. When I think of a trophy, it’s only good for
about a year, and then it goes to the next best thing that comes along.
I’m not saying your wife shouldn’t be attractive, as I know that is
important for most men. Just make sure that looks aren’t the only thing
you see, because although a trophy will lose its shine over time, what’s
on the inside never will.
5. Prideful Peggy. This woman
has to have the best of everything—best car, biggest house, name-brand
clothing. She constantly compares what she has to what others have. Her
identity is wrapped up in things. She will drive a man into debt, and
enough will never be enough. The Word says, “Out of the abundance of the
heart a man speaks.” Listen to what she talks about. If you hear her
constantly comparing herself to others, keeping this woman happy will
feel like a root canal that never ends.
6. Chatty Cathy. This
woman has something to say about everybody and everything. She never
shuts up. She finds faults in everything. Over time she will sound like a
dripping faucet that never stops..
7. Addicted Debbie. This woman is usually looking in the
rearview mirror of life. She sings the "somebody done me something
wrong" song to everybody and anybody who will listen. She constantly
hashes and rehashes the failures or losses of life. Many times this
woman will battle addictions to numb her pain, whether it’s drugs,
alcohol or food. Her pains will become your worst nightmare. Remember
you are looking for a helpmate, not a mate to help.
8. Broke-as-a-Joke Julie. This
is a woman who has credit issues. She owes money to everybody, and she
will have no sense of restraint when it comes to spending money. Just as
it is important for a woman to know a man’s financial status, a man
should know a woman’s. If she can’t budget her own money, she won’t have
any trouble spending yours.
9. Married Mindy. You would
think this would be obvious, but unfortunately it is not. If a married
woman is sending you signals or if you’re married and a single woman is
sending you signals, beware. If she will cheat
with you, she will cheat
on you.
"Why bring the hot coals of fire into your chest?" the Bible clearly
warns you. Unless a woman has a true heart change in the Lord, and not a
heart change because of you, history will repeat itself.
10. Lying Linda. Listen
to this woman. If she has no problem lying to family, friends and
co-workers, she will have no problem lying to you. That which you fear,
you cannot love. Trust will always be an issue with you. Eventually your
love for her will dry up.
11. Lazy Lucille. The only
place the Lord talks about laziness is in conjunction with
wickedness—“You wicked, lazy servant.” God sees laziness as wicked. You
will know this woman. Her house is a filthy mess, and her car looks like
a trash dump. She doesn’t take care of herself in any way. She doesn’t
have a healthy love for herself and won’t be able to love you correctly
until she does.
12. Sad Sally. This woman has no joy. She
seems sad most of the time and has the attitude of “If it wasn’t for bad
luck, I’d have no luck at all.” Attitude will determine altitude—how
far you will go. Like a helium balloon, you are constantly having to
pump this woman up, only to find her deflated in the morning. Look for a
woman who knows how to encourage herself, and you will find one who
will encourage you and won’t weigh you down.
13. Nervous Nellie. This
woman is afraid of everything—afraid to drive, afraid to fly, afraid to
try anything new. She will have to see it to believe it. Nervous Nellie
can hold a man back from becoming the gift he was meant to be. This
doesn’t mean a woman can’t balance a man to keep him from being
careless. Often a woman can sense the things that men overlook. I am
saying that this one can never go beyond her comfort zone. She is
obsessed with illness and talks of sickness as if it is something to
expect—that it’s normal and a healthy life is unusual.
I think
it’s only fair to say Proverbs 31 describes several women, not just one.
Solomon had several wives, and this is a combined list of many. To
expect a woman to fulfill all of these qualities is unrealistic. But
there are a lot of women who meet most of the guidelines in Proverbs 31.
I would say the list I have summarized here would be Proverbs 32—women
to avoid.
Goodluck....
