If you're a woman who finds climaxing easy and can have orgasms
during intercourse with little effort – even in a position where it's difficult
to access the clitoris – then you are very lucky indeed!
For the majority of us, 'ringing that bell' is not nearly so
simple.
Even women who can masturbate to a climax with no difficulty can
feel quite anxious
about
'coming' with a male partner.
This doesn't seem fair, because apart from the small minority of
men who have psychological difficulties with sex and who cannot relax enough to
ejaculate into their partner (delayed ejaculation
),
most males have no problem at all in climaxing during sexual intercourse.
But of course, in a man, the penis is the pleasure-provider. And
clearly a penis gets a lot of stimulation during intercourse.
Women, as you probably know, get their pleasurable feelings
mostly from the clitoris – which is the bit of them that would have turned into
a penis had they developed into a baby boy in the womb, instead of into a girl.
For that reason, most women need the clitoris to be stimulated
during sex – and in many positions this simply doesn't happen.
Now, please don't feel bad if you'd never really realised this
before, because you're not alone.
So, what can you do?
If you're having trouble in reaching climax, the best thing you
can do is to start by learning how to orgasm on your own through masturbation.
Once you can climax easily on your own, you'll find it much
easier to have really exciting times with a partner.
But even if you are the queen of masturbatory techniques, you
might still find it tough to climax during full sex, and this will almost
certainly be because your clitoris is not getting sufficient attention.
So here are four sex positions that might help you to enjoy
intercourse more and to have fulfilling orgasms at the same time.
The CAT position
(This stands for coital adjusted technique, but don't let that
rather technical and boring title put you off!)
Basically this is a face-to-face position, but the man 'rides
much higher' than he would in the missionary position so that his shoulders and
head are about six inches higher up the bed than normal.
What this means is that his penis doesn't go all the way into
the vagina. Instead, the stem or root of it is pulled hard against the clitoris
– producing great sensations in that all-important little organ.
The other difference is that instead of taking his weight on
his elbows, the man should simply let his bulk slump onto his partner's upper
chest.
Clearly if he's a heavy bloke, this might be a problem!
You can experiment with this position to get it absolutely right
for you. Some people do it with the man's legs outside the woman, but you can
also try it with his legs inside yours.
Many couples find they can't thrust much in this position so
they kind of 'rock' together.
The CAT certainly produces very different sensations from many
other positions, so it's worth a try, and it might just take you to the heights
of ecstasy. I hope it does.
The free-as-air position
The man lies down on his back. The woman faces the other way and
sits down on his penis. Then, in her own time, she gradually lowers herself so
that – with his penis inside her – her back is lying fully outstretched on the
front of his body.
The woman can feel genuinely weightless and free-as-air – which
is quite a novel sensation. Another bonus is that either partner can touch the
clitoris easily. So it's different and fun – and usually a great time is had by
all.
The Pinner position
This is a particularly good position if you feel nervous about
touching your own clitoris. You shouldn't be of course because it's yours – and
you should feel perfectly free to stimulate it yourself if you want to.
But the thing about this position is that many men can't really
tell if you are touching it or not.
What happens is this.
You lie flat on your front and he lies, face down, on top of
you. He then penetrates you from behind.
But because you are flat on the bed, you get very different
sensations from any rear-entry position where your bottom is up in the air. And
you can slip your hand in between the bed and your body and rub your own
clitoris.
Plenty of women who have never 'come' during intercourse have
found that they climaxed in the Pinner position.
The spoons position
Finally, 'the spoons'.
This is the position where you lie on your side and your man
lies curled up round your bottom (like spoons in a drawer) and penetrates you
from behind.
Lots of women like this, though not all of them find it easy to
orgasm on their sides. But the great advantage here is that either partner can
reach round and rub the clitoris. Also, neither of you is having to take the
weight of the other.
Finally
There's no right or wrong way to have sex with a partner. Every
couple has to experiment to find out what works for them.
But I hope that trying out these positions will be fun – and
that they may help you to have an exciting and orgasmic time.
Goodluck...
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